Executive Coach

If Feedback Is The Breakfast of Champions, Your Calmness Determines Your Appetite

If Feedback Is The Breakfast of Champions, Your Calmness Determines Your Appetite

If Feedback Is The Breakfast of Champions, Your Calmness Determines Your Appetite

Summary: Any feedback is constructive in nature, because it gives you a chance to learn and better yourself. While positive feedback is more fun to receive, although it’s grossly undervalued in most companies, negative feedback can easily be turned into a fantastic thing, when received with composure as an opportunity to build credibility.

It’s simple to use your failures as stepping stones toward achievement. While praise may make you feel good, we can guarantee that criticism would definitely make you feel better. Being able to accept negative feedback with grace is a sign of emotional maturity.

For star leaders, feedback always has the potential to be constructive. While the way it is framed and the finesse of it might make your experience better, the leader’s approach to receiving feedback matters more. This article specifically talks about the best ways to receive criticism to polish your executive presence and bring your best version to surface.  

Leaders often identify themselves with the immediate work they do. Instead, star leaders identify themselves with their big picture goals. This helps star leaders to remain calm and composed while readying themselves to do what it takes to achieve their leadership goals. Negative feedback can be the best gift for your professional career if you can keep your eye on your bigger goal and let your calm self dwarf your reactive ego. 

A manager well-liked by his employees in a Fortune 500 insurance company used to actively seek feedback and even act on it concretely1. Yet, he was missing valuable feedback on what new ideas and suggestions could be implemented in a fast changing market place simply because it was daunting to physically go and approach him. Employees had to reportedly go “through four closed doors and past three secretaries”1 to get to him. As a result, no one really felt comfortable getting there. 

So what can you do to be open to feedback, understand it effectively and use it to further your and your company’s goals?

Respond instead of react

Any negative feedback related to your work should never make you judge yourself on how good or bad a person you are. Negative feedback tends to elicit a competitive reaction2: you try to assert yourself as competent, many times through less than helpful ways. This same competitive reaction can be turned into a collaborative response: it’s us vs the problem, not you vs I2. This kind of thinking allows you to see that negative feedback as a step forward instead of a blow against your competence.

You shouldn’t be too hard on yourself

Mistakes are important. If you’re always too self-critical, never allowing yourself to fall, the stress itself will make you adhere to the same errors or even bigger lapses at work, again and again. Our human tendency3 is to seek validation and acceptance from others because that awards us a feeling of safety, whilst criticism makes us feel embarrassed and defensive3. Giving in to this would make you closed off to taking risks, thinking boldly and taking real actions with a calm demeanour which would ultimately make your work and presence shine.

Impact on Leadership
The way to success is essentially doing a lot of things you really don’t have any idea about, getting to learn out of it and then going forward with the end goal in mind. Being calm is the key to being able to do this. Star leaders listen with the bigger picture in mind, take their setbacks with grace and poise and come back stronger and more credible than before. This in itself makes you come across as a confident leader who knows what they are doing, which won’t be the case if you were closed off to listening to how you might be going wrong sometimes.
Star Mindset
Most leaders are open to receive feedback and positive criticism to become a better leader. However, how effective are they at applying it? Gaining control over how you respond to feedback requires deliberation and intention. The secret is to make the commitment to pause, and gain control over how you respond to others.
3 Immediately Applicable Action Steps
  1. While listening to feedback, monitor yourself for reactions that come up and try to remain silent and attentive.
  2. When responding to or providing feedback, try to frame it in such a way that it comes off as a situation that you are mutually facing.
  3. When thinking about mistakes or failures, imagine what the positive narrative would look like.
References
  1. Detert, J. R., & Burris, E. (2016). Can Your Employees Really Speak Freely? Harvard Business Review, (January–February 2016), 80–87. https://hbr.org/2016/01/can-your-employees-really-speak-freely
  2. Rudawsky, D.J., Lundgren, D.C. and Grasha, A.F. (1999), “Competitive And Collaborative Responses To Negative Feedback”, International Journal of Conflict Management, Vol. 10 No. 2, pp. 172-190. https://doi.org/10.1108/eb022823
  3. Learning from Mistakes and Growing from Criticism | Psychological & Counseling Services. (n.d.). University of New Hampshire. Retrieved July 14, 2022, from https://www.unh.edu/pacs/learning-mistakes-growing-criticism

Authored by Coach Vikram

Vikram is an Executive Presence Coach who supports CXOs and senior leaders to make an impact, influence, and lead with ease. He advises C-level leaders and teams to strengthen business performance through their executive presence and star leadership. 

Vikram works closely with Boards and senior leaders to align leadership needs with strategy. His forte is his ability to develop trusted partnerships with senior leaders at some of the most recognized companies in the world. Vikram coaches senior leaders to draw upon their best selves, while growing their business and their leadership capabilities.

Vikram and his team have developed a groundbreaking model of executive presence and an Executive Presence Index (EPI) Assessment, the first frequency based, scientifically validated tool to measure executive presence.

Connect with him if you want practical and immediately applicable strategies to accelerate results, develop your people, and influence others to make a positive difference in your organization.

Key words: #Power #Composure #Calmness #Credibility
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