Why Should You Put Some Distance Between Yourself and a Chronic Complainer?
Summary: To listen to someone complaining excessively, just about every single day, irrespective of whether or not you respond to their whining, creates a vicious cycle. And the only way out of it, is for you to be brave, and cut the crap at some point; because the complainer is certainly not going to stop first.
Instead of complaining about the thorns on the roses, be grateful that there are roses on the thorns. Exceptional people would conquer what ordinary people would whine about. While leaders work to maintain self-control, complainers attempt to control others. So, how do you deal with complainers on a regular basis?
You meet all sorts of people at work – some good, some not so good. But I feel, the worse kind is always the ones who are always complaining. No matter how good things get, or how much you listen to them, or try to help them – chronic complainers always tend to see bad in everything, and they make sure to point it out to every single person around them.
Here are three reasons why you should distance yourself form someone who tends to complain overly and excessively…
You can’t possibly cheer them up!
Don’t even think about suggesting solutions!
You might think suggesting a solution would work – but you couldn’t be more wrong! The moment you start beginning your sentences with “Maybe you could… ”, or “Have you tried doing… ”, or “You could have… ” – the last one being the worst of all – is the moment you realize, their complains are not meant to be solved!
It sounds ridiculous, but a chronic complainer staunchly believes that their problems are unsolvable, especially through any smart-ass suggestion given by an average Joe like yourself. The more you suggest, them more they’ll try to convince you of the impossibility of their situation. You’ll get to see how amazingly their imagination will tend to rule out every suggestion, always arguing in the favor of the problem itself. In short, you’ll be hearing more complaining, only this time it will be about how your possible solutions would have never worked for them.
Watch out, for you could be the next in line!
In the end, you might try to unburden your mind by turning towards a friend, and telling them of how your ever-complaining friend is the biggest woe of your life. But then, guess what – that will have turned you into a complainer! And if you continue listening to others complaining, you will never run out of reasons to complain yourself – that, in no time, will turn you into a chronic complainer too!
Authored by Coach Vikram
Vikram is an Executive Presence Coach who supports CXOs and senior leaders to make an impact, influence, and lead with ease. He advises C-level leaders and teams to strengthen business performance through their executive presence and star leadership.
Vikram works closely with Boards and senior leaders to align leadership needs with strategy. His forte is his ability to develop trusted partnerships with senior leaders at some of the most recognized companies in the world. Vikram coaches senior leaders to draw upon their best selves, while growing their business and their leadership capabilities.
Vikram and his team have developed a groundbreaking model of executive presence and an Executive Presence Index (EPI) Assessment, the first frequency based, scientifically validated tool to measure executive presence.
Connect with him if you want practical and immediately applicable strategies to accelerate results, develop your people, and influence others to make a positive difference in your organization.
